Losing My Best Friend
by hudmelsonberry
Summary: *Title taken from No Doubt's "Don't Speak"* Blaine visits Kurt in New York only to realize how much the city has changed his boyfriend. He's happier than he's ever been and Blaine doesn't want to be the one to destroy that happiness. Spoilers for season four.


**WARNING: I stated this in the summary, but there are spoilers for season four in this story, so proceed at your own risk**

**WARNING NUMBER TWO: Get your tissues because this is an emotional one**

**Also, I am not Ryan Murphy so _Glee_ does not belong to me :)**

It was late at night – somewhere probably around eleven, though no one was really bothered with the time – and Kurt, Blaine, Finn, and Rachel were walking in Battery Park. Finn and Rachel were walking about twenty feet ahead of Kurt and Blaine, who had slowed to a stroll to take in the calmness of the park at night.

While Kurt talked endlessly about his new job and how his boss was kind of a _The Devil Wears Prada _kind of bitch, only not really, and, yeah, Broadway was still his dream, but maybe fashion wouldn't be so bad in the meantime and, oh my god, did I tell you that Rachel might sort of be dating this guy Brody and how awful is that for Finn because he came all the way up here from Georgia to fix things with her and a million other things Blaine was having a hard time concentrating on.

All he could think was that he was doing the right thing tonight.

Kurt looked over at him and Blaine must have looked pained or sick or something because he said, "Are you okay? You're being really quiet and look like someone just murdered your best friend."

"I uh…" Blaine glanced over to where Finn and Rachel stood, making sure that they were still sufficiently preoccupied. He really didn't want an audience for this. "We need to talk."

"Four words no one ever wants to hear," Kurt said airily. "But continue." He smiled and Blaine almost faltered because what if he never saw that smile again and…

No, he was doing the right thing.

"I was thinking that maybe we should… should take a um… you know, a break. From each other," he tacked on at the end, not looking Kurt in the eye – he didn't want to see the hurt there, especially not because he was the cause of it.

"W-What?" Kurt stammered and Blaine could already hear the tears in his boyfriend's voice and had to choke back his own – he'd cry later.

"I think that we should take a break," Blaine repeated, the words not coming out any easier the second time around.

"But why? I mean, I know it's been hard with me here and you in Ohio, but I thought we were making it work. We call and text and Skype each other all the time, not to mention email and Facebook and Twitter. It's… almost like I never even left. Why do you want to mess that up?"

"It's just," Blaine paused, running a hand over his gelled hair, trying to phrase what he wanted to say just right so Kurt understood where he was coming from. "I listen to you talk about how amazing everything here is and now seeing you here…" He paused and took Kurt's hand in his own. Kurt didn't exactly hold back, but he didn't pull away, either. "You're just… you're glowing, Kurt - you're happier than I've ever seen you. You _belong_ here, in New York, and I can't help but feel like I'm holding you back from really experiencing everything New York has to offer."

Now Kurt pulled his hand away and stared at Blaine. "Are you seriously doing this right now?" he asked angrily, blue eyes blazing in the faint light from the nearest lamppost. "Because, yeah, New York's great, but_ this_," he jabbed Blaine in the chest, right where his heart was, "this is where I belong, Blaine. Right here."

Blaine had to fight harder to control his tears this time, but still refused to let them fall. "Kurt, just hear me out, okay?" Kurt sighed, sounding much like he did when Finn was being less than intelligent, with just a touch of heartbreak mixed in. "I don't know how to explain this, but I really need you to understand. I will _always _love you and I will _always _be there for you, no matter what. But right now you don't need anything tying you to Ohio, me included."

"What?" Kurt burst out, his voice barely above a whisper. Then, in a normal tone, "Blaine, this is insane. There's always going to be things tying me to Ohio – my family, the New Directions, all my memories – because, as much as I hate the place, it is where I grew up and it'll always be a part of me. So it's pointless to try and cut my ties to Ohio, because that's literally impossible."

Damn, when Kurt said it like that, Blaine wanted to take it all back and pull Kurt into his arms and promise to never hurt him again. But then that small part of his mind spoke up again, reminding Blaine that – at least for now – this was what was best for Kurt. "It's just… I feel like you're not _really _living your life here because you're waiting for me."

"That's because you _are _my life, Blaine. I can't really enjoy New York without you because everything reminds me of you." Kurt was crying openly now and Blaine couldn't help but think of how beautiful he was when he cried. "Please, _please _don't do this to me. I've already lost so much – don't make me lose you, too."

Blaine tried to take Kurt's hand again, but this time the other boy pulled away, not that Blaine could blame him. "You are beautiful, Kurt, and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Please…" Kurt begged.

"And even though this is killing me, I think this is what's best for you right now. I don't want anything holding you back from living your life. And…" He took a shuddering breath, forcing the words out of his mouth. "If you, you know, wanted to date other people, I won't – I won't hate you for it, I swear." Even though the idea of Kurt being held by another guy, kissed by him, made Blaine sick to his stomach, Blaine would deal with it if that's what Kurt wanted.

"Stop, just stop!" Kurt said loudly, causing Finn and Rachel to glance in their direction. Blaine tried to reach out to Kurt again, to apologize, but Kurt shook his head, put his hand over his mouth, and practically ran away, leaving Blaine alone in the middle of a dark park in a strange city.

When Kurt was out of view, Blaine sank to the ground right there and sobbed until he didn't have any tears left to cry.

* * *

Kurt slammed his apartment door behind him, eyes clouded with tears and chest heaving from having run pretty much the entire way from Battery Park.

He collapsed to the floor, his knees unable to support him, buried his head in his hands, and cried.

How could this have happened? He and Blaine had survived seventeen months together, dealing with so much more shit than most couples. So why didn't Blaine think they could last until June when he graduated and was able to join Kurt in New York?

"_I think this is what's best for you right now." _Blaine's words came back, hitting Kurt like a truck. _"I don't want anything holding you back from living your life."_

The only problem with that, like Kurt had told Blaine back in the park, was that Blaine _was _Kurt's life. Honestly, it should probably scare him how much he needed the other boy – and sometimes it did – but in the end, he just really didn't care. He needed Blaine as much as he needed oxygen and now that Blaine was gone, Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, back pressed against the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, but soon his tears stopped and he was left with a dull ache where his heart should have been.

Kurt stood and his feet carried him to his bedroom, where – instead of falling into bed the way his body wanted – he walked over to his closet. Opening it, he pulled out a box marked 'Blaine' and sat in front of it.

Once he got the courage to open it, Kurt stared down at all the things Blaine had given him or that simply reminded him of his boyfriend (well, ex-boyfriend now). Countless pictures and dried flower petals from the dozens of bouquets that Kurt had received. T-shirts that Kurt had stolen because they were comfy and smelled like Blaine. Notes passed under desks during the few classes they'd shared at both Dalton and McKinley. A Katy Perry cd that probably has permanent grooves in it from how many times he'd listened to "Teenage Dream" on an endless loop. The scepter from the prom where Kurt had danced with Blaine for the first time. And so many more things that might have seemed trivial to everyone else, but to Kurt they meant the world.

Pushing aside a Lima Bean napkin with a coffee stain and a scribbled "I love you," Kurt picked up the one thing he'd been searching for - a red velvet ring box that had been handed to Kurt in a secluded corner of McKinley High School, coupled with promises of forever.

Kurt stared at the gum wrapper and paper bowtie ring and wondered where it all went wrong. He stared at it until the world blurred and only then did he close the small box. He placed it on top of the pile of memories and was just about to close it when he got an idea.

He rummaged through the few boxes of miscellaneous stuff he had yet to unpack until he found a little pad of yellow Post-It notes. Grabbing a pen off of his small desk, he wrote two words on the topmost Post-It and peeled it away from the rest. He hesitated before placing it on the box. Maybe it was petty and bitchy, but Kurt wasn't thinking rationally right now and all he wanted was to hurt Blaine as much as Blaine hurt him.

Kurt grabbed a roll of tape from the same box as the Post-Its and taped up the box, scribbling both his and Blaine's addresses on it (making sure they were still legible, of course. He didn't want these precious things to be lost). He placed it on his desk, making a mental note to bring it to the post office in the morning.

He crawled into bed fully clothed and closed his eyes, praying for sleep to come quickly so he could have at least a few hours where he didn't have to think about how his life had just fallen apart.

* * *

When Blaine returned to Ohio at the end of the weekend (having stayed at a friend of Cooper's for the remainder of his stay in the city) he greeted his mother who told him that a package had arrived for him a few hours before he got home and that she put it on his bed.

He walked up the stairs, wondering what this package could be. He hadn't ordered anything online recently and his birthday already passed so it couldn't be a present. He walked into his room and stopped in his tracks when he saw the box sitting on his bed.

It was just an ordinary cardboard box, with his own name written in black Sharpie. It was Kurt's handwriting and Blaine's breath caught in his throat because there was no way this could be good.

He cautiously walked towards the box, as if it would explode if he moved too quickly, and just stared at it for a good five minutes. When he finally got the courage to, he slit the tape with his keys and opened the box, his eyes immediately filling with tears.

Inside, on top of everything that had defined his relationship with Kurt, was a ring box with a Post-It note stuck to it.

_You promised._

**Apologizing for this, but I just had to write it**

**Review!**


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